I’m busier now. I’m less pateint and tolerant of stupid mistakes, both from myself and others. I tilt way more easily. The people I would trust in a party are either inactive or don’t play with me, or are online at times that I am not. Soloque in 5v5 has just been a mess. I suppose it has fallen a bit short of even my under-hyped expectations in some ways.
I’ve tried, but its just not working out. I’m sad about this, because VG is one of the first games I played seriously, my first moba, and so on. There was a lot of learning curve to overcome, in part due to my prior gaming experience being as a casual Wii and Nintendo DS player. So no real applicable experience beyond 15 seconds in League of Legends.
Once I dreamed of hitting T10 and making amazing plays, now I just feel sick when I look at that ranked button, knowing that I don’t have the calmness or mechanical skill or patience to get past a probably year before hitting anything above POA Bronze. At least I made it to T9 Bronze under my own power. I think I’ve managed to lose all my optimism surrounding MOBAs in general. If I take another one up at all seriously, it will probably be one whose developers support API-like projects much more fully, and whose games allow teammates to actually coordinate with eachother. So most likely League. Either way, I would need to learn a new MOBA during roughly half the week. I just don’t have the time or energy or motivation that I used to - VG made sure of that.
The grand irony in all this of course, is that from an achievement standpoint, I’ve done pretty well. I just haven’t lived up to my own expectations. While POA looks “low skill” to T10 players (idgaf what you think), 70% of players are like, T7 and below. Smurfs can affect this in both directions. So POA is something, especially with basically no prior gaming experience. Additionally, VG has kept me from pursuing many other interests and games - many of which I have significantly more potential in than here. Maybe elsewhere I can find my catharsis once more.
I sincerely doubt the majority of the few who click on this page give a f***, but I think there are a few posts I should make before dropping off of here too. Some things like Toxicity and Elo Hell we think about incorrectly. I probably won’t bother to reply there. All I want is to try to influence some other people to hopefully change the community a tiny bit - I would be insane to assume anything else is realistic with all the short sighted whining and cherry picking about heroes atm.
I’ve woken up as my dream ends - an illusion I chased endlessly for years, trying and failing endlessly to bring that elusive dream to reality. So I guess this is a pre-emptive goodbye.